Writing on over-functioning, by a woman in midlife who still does.

I’ve spent most of my adult life being the capable one. The one who remembers, who steps in, who manages. It worked, for a long time.

I still over-function, and I’ve started to notice the difference between what I’ve actually chosen and what I keep holding because putting it down feels unthinkable.

This is where I think about the difference, out loud, with women who recognize the same pull to keep going long after something stopped being useful. If competence has ever cost you more than it gave back, you’ll probably recognize a lot of what I write.

I also coach. I help midlife women talk things through, notice their own patterns, and decide for themselves what comes next. More on that here.